How To Grow Love in Your Life Regardless of Your Dating Status

By Sarah Lake

February is here much to many people's dismay, as is the so-called season of love. If you're not a fan of winter weather or the cultural obsession with Valentine's Day, you're not alone!

Single people and people in relationships alike can feel pressured from the constant suggestion that we should all be experiencing perfect romantic bliss. No matter how happy you are with your current love life, it's hard not to compare yourself to an elusive ideal and feel disappointed with your reality.

If you're feeling fed up with pop culture's one-size-fits-all expectations for love and perhaps somewhat lonely this time of year, this piece is for you.

There are countless ways to boost love in your life beyond the cliches of romance. Whatever your current life situation is, you both need and deserve loving connections with others.

The 7 Types of Love According to Ancient Greek Philosophers

In current society, we tend to have a very limited view of what love is. We focus so much on romantic love that we forget all the other types of connections that allow us to feel fulfilled.

According to the ancient Greeks, love has many different faces. They are: romantic/sexual (Eros), deep friendship (Philia), playful love (Ludus), love for humanity (Agape), long-lasting love (Pragma), love for oneself (Philautia), and love for family (Storge).

Based on this, we all clearly have plenty of options for increasing love beyond pursuing romance. This is great news since you don't always have control over who is or isn't in your life.

Perhaps you have a healthy relationship with a significant other right now, or maybe you don't. Thankfully, this alone doesn't determine your opportunities for experiencing love.

The same is true for family and friends. Not everyone is lucky enough to have nearby family or even healthy familial relationships. We also tend to go through periods of isolation with life changes such as moving, or starting out at a new job, but; these scenarios don't doom us to being lonely or lacking love either.

Though some types of love are dependent on your circumstances, most aren't.

Love Is a Verb, So Be Proactive

Another thing we tend to get wrong about love is in thinking it's exclusively something we need to find, something that happens to us, or something someone gives to us. All those can be true, what's more important to recognize is that love is something we create for ourselves and choose to share with others.

The more you pour love into both yourself and others, the more you'll feel satisfied and emotionally nourished from your connections. An important caveat is that this doesn't mean just anyone is deserving of your time and attention.

It's helpful to assess whether devoting time to specific people makes you feel content and energized or drained and unsettled. Many people are unable to reciprocate the same level of care you have to offer, so discerning where to invest your efforts is essential for growing more love in your life.

Practical Tips To Increase Love + Connection

Knowing the abundance of love you have accessible to you and putting this into action are two separate things with the latter being far more difficult. Even small efforts can snowball into consistent habits, and before long you may feel an abundance of love you didn't even know was possible.

Here are some realistic ways to care for yourself and others this season:

●      Grab a coffee with a friend, coworker, or family member

●      Join a club, group, society or team related to your interests

●      Share more compliments in person or online, and to strangers or loved ones

●      Adopt a pet or become an animal foster caretaker

●      Try out a new hobby or ignite an old passion project

●      Call a friend or family member

●      Try therapy if you need more guidance or support

●      Spend time outside enjoying nature and/or buy a new houseplant

●      Enjoy some uplifting and inspiring art. Music, books, film, visual arts and more

●      Spend effort and/or money on caring for yourself

●      Book a massage if you're craving physical touch

●      Journal to process emotions and connect with yourself

This isn't an exhaustive list of ways to increase love, but rather just a few ideas to get you started.

There's no shame in feeling lonely or disconnected this time of year. Countless people are experiencing the exact same thing you are, and many people are hungry for connection. The more you take proactive steps to care for yourself and others, the more it will reflect back to you. You aren't seeking love, you are love.