How To Create A Positive Inner Dialogue
A Transformative Mental Wellness Tool
If there was a person that followed you around all day every single day and constantly whispered criticism and abuse in your ear, do you think that would affect your mental wellbeing? Unless you're an imperturbable rock, the clear answer is yes. Unfortunately, this scenario is quite real for many people.
Our inner voice speaks to us all day long and it can either be a voice of positive encouragement or our own worst bully. In psychology, this voice is referred to as our "inner dialogue" or "self-talk", and one of the main purposes of psychological counseling is to reprogram this voice into becoming our ally.
It can be a daunting task, but taking steps to create positive thinking is one of the most transformative ways to improve mental health and stop getting in the way of becoming your most fulfilled self.
Where Does Negative Self-Talk Come From?
If you battle with constant negative self-talk, chances are you picked this habit up from somewhere. Over time, habits become more cemented, and we may start to believe it's who we truly are. The truth is, you have control over your self-talk, and the first step is having compassion for yourself by understanding where this tendency comes from.
Sometimes an inner critic develops from a loved one speaking to us like that as a child, or other times it may arise as a result of societal or cultural pressures. Whether you've experienced these things, or even if you simply have a natural tendency to speak to yourself harshly, you can learn to alter your inner voice with intentional effort.
Why Is Negative Self-Talk A Problem?
Chronic negative inner dialogue can be an insidious issue we don't recognize in ourselves until things have snowballed out of control. Many people with anxiety tend to speak fear into their experiences, many people with low self-esteem have issues with belittling themselves, and some people with depressive traits may fixate on sad thoughts. In other words, our inner voice shapes our lived experience (although this goes both ways). Our self-talk affects our emotions and our beliefs about ourselves.
The problem is self-talk often distorts reality. It functions like a lens through which we see the world, and the more we can clear it of untrue beliefs about ourselves or the world, the better off we'll be.
How To Create Positive Self-Talk
The first step to improving your inner dialogue is to notice the thoughts you have about yourself. Do you speak to yourself the way you would a loved one, or like an abuser? Many times self-talk is unconscious, so paying attention and perhaps even keeping a journal can be a helpful way to assess the state of our inner dialogue.
The next step is to challenge negative thoughts. Very often, our negative thoughts are more based on our emotions than reality. Anchoring our experience to facts is a great way to reframe our situation and gain some clarity.
Last is reprogramming our inner dialogue to slowly become more supportive and positive. This means replacing negative untrue thoughts with hopeful and empowering ones. This takes effort but in time, you'll start to feel your experience of the world shift towards a more peaceful and positive one.
An important note is you may need the help of a therapist for this process, or perhaps even a loved one who can reflect reality back to you a little clearer than your current self-talk can. The bottom line is our self-talk is something we'll always have, so making it your biggest cheerleader is an investment worth every ounce of effort.